My mum asked me once after yoga if I felt bad because "my old mum can do things that I can't anymore" and asked whether I felt envious. It hadn't occurred to me to be envious of her because she has her own things, like a crushed tailbone after having Elle, and she's worked hard to be healthy. Another time, I was out with my dad and he was hurting from doing tile cutting the day before. He was moving more slowly than usual and I realized that he's getting older too. I told Rory that it's okay if he gets older but that I don't want him to get a really hard disease like cancer....and then I remembered that uh, I have cancer. He must feel so much more sad because he's the dad and I'm his kid. My future father-in-law, a joyful man who doesn't often show his inner feelings, also turned to Kill's mom and asked her "What are we going to do about our Case*?" after I was diagnosed. It was a rare moment for him to show how he felt helpless in this scenario. I'm not sure at all what it's like to be a sibling whose brother or sister gets very sick. I'll ask Elle to write something from her view sometime.It's an interesting situation and our family is one of many who have experienced it. I even know one family who lost their baby to an autoimmune disease... which would really be so excruciating. I'm not sure if I can help my parents deal with this by doing certain things but they've said that when I help myself by being active and positive that it helps them. Sometimes, when you're having a low point, as a patient, remember you're value to your community. That's the only thing that I've figured out so far but it's important. If you can't quite be awesome just for yourself then be awesome for a loved one :).
Cailey
*Case is my nickname amongst Kill's family. I got it in Mexico because the "l" in my name was too tricky for native Spanish speakers to say :). Within his family, you aren't really in until you have a nickname, for example, the beautiful girlfriend of Kill's brother is affectionately nicknamed Midge the Fridge.