Passing of a Wonderful Young Lady

Cailey, who had been living with stage four metastatic breast cancer for the past two and a half years, passed away on August 30, 2013. Cailey and I (her husband, Kill) had been told by her oncologist on August 9th that her liver was failing and that she only had a few weeks of life left. After that day Cailey and I strived to fill our remaining days together with as much love, life, and fun as we possibly could. We took bike rides along the banks of the Bow River in Calgary, we walked in the community of Kensington and drank tea, we sat together and we laughed. Amidst all of that we also threw a wedding in the beautiful community of Hills, BC.

Cailey was the most genuine, loving, and caring person I have ever known. I can't help but feel that the world is a sadder place without her in it, but then I think about all of the things that Cailey has taught me over the years.  She taught me to be kind to myself, but more importantly she taught me to be kind to others. She showed me that when I make sure to meet the needs of others they will in turn help me meet my needs too.

Cailey's goal in life was to find happiness each day, and although some days seemed more difficult than others, she would always find a way to do something for herself to be happy. Sometimes this just meant sitting and drinking a cup of her favourite tea or listening to her favourite song, but most of the time it meant connecting with the people in her life that meant the most to her. At a sad time like this, Cailey would have desired for everyone to take a portion of their day to be with the people they most cherish. Sit with them, laugh with them, be with them. And although Cailey's passing is tough to bear she left me with a simple statement:

"I loved you all so very much. Please miss me but don't focus on my dying because you'll do me a disservice :)"

Cailey's life was full of love, and when she passed away she was able to leave having experienced so much in her short time. She had travelled the world, she had turned her passion of teaching young people into an enriching career, and luckily for both of us she had met someone whom she wanted to spend the rest of her life with. It is rare to have had such a short but rich life. It was an honour to have been a part of it with her as it is an honour to be writing this letter to you all now.

I love you and I miss you Cailey.

Kill

Know a sickie? Gift ideas for someone starting chemo

I've received some beautiful gifts since I've been diagnosed and I felt very loved. I've also received a few gifts that I found unpleasant (an unusual bible full of hellfire and brimstone is not a good gift for someone with a disease that often kills). I did 10 rounds of chemo and here's a list of the best ones for someone starting out:

1. Unscented lotion (I didn't mind perfume smells but for many it causes nausea)
2. Unscented lip balm
3. A tub of Vaseline (for inside their poor little noses)
4. A travel sized Q-tip package to put the Vaseline inside their nose
5. Travel Kleenex (you get so many nosebleeds)
6. Comfy socks
7. A portable blanket for chemo (I got one from all my colleagues at school and one from my future mother-in-law and they were great)
8. Cute pajamas if they're having surgery... not sexy ones though
9. Gift cards for their favorite restaurant. Wait a month in to find out what food they now hate, I hated garlic, onions, curry and cumin. In fact, by the end I had asked Kill not to eat them because kissing him afterward was too much
10. Movie passes (it's dark so no one will see their baldness)
11. A baseball hat or nice toque
12. An eye mask to block out hospital lights
13. Loan of an Ipad or tablet. If you download VLC then you can upload movies and shows for them
14. An earphone splitter and two sets of earphones so they can have guests watch too. I got my splitter at Urbanoutfitters.com and 30$ headphones at Sony
15. A thermos for tea (mine is from mec.ca)
16. Portable snacks, like sushi, yum.
17. A ride to chemo or a pick-up
18. A foot massage to distract them at chemo or after
19. Magazines because you can't concentrate well enough for books
20. Maybe an attractive pair of stretchy pants, I recommend Lululemon if you're feeling really generous
21. A haircut for when their hair falls out 
22. Plastic flossers in case their fingernails disintegrate
23. A pimple extractor (I got mine at Community Naturals) because without fingernails it is impossible to get that whitehead...careful though they'll scar easier
24. Love, a card or a picture

May you never need to use this information :)

Love,

Cail