Testing Out Your New Medical Jargon

Last weekend at a bachelorette party the standard shenanigans were taking place which included round after round of shots done by everyone but myself and one sweet pregnant girl. We were five rounds of shots into the party when, a not intentionally unkind woman, told me that she is in Human Resources and she helps people like "me" with their work claims. I saw the signs that this talk was going to veer off course way before she spoke the words that would make me feel weird, but I gave her the benefit of the doubt and let her proceed. I always hope that people will rein themselves in before they put their feet in their mouths, but then again I'm an optimist. With the verbal swagger of an adolescent who knows someone that's been to a nightclub, Ms. HR says to me "so, what's your prognosis?"


Oh honey... no she didn't just ask a bald, dragged-her-ass to this party, metastatic patient what her prognosis is. Did she? Even though I am a wrestling coach, I decided not to pin her to the sticky bar floor, because she was out of her league and I knew it even though she didn't. So down the rabbit hole we went. I hoped she was ready for this wild ride; her confidence in asking such a question was apparent, but not warranted. I gave her as little information as I thought she could handle while intoxicated and wearing a see-through shirt. Here's how our little chat went:


See-Through Shirt: So, what's your prognosis?
Cailey: (thinking pause) Well, I'll probably be on chemo forever.
STHR: (Bambi eyed) Like forever?
Cailey: Yup
STHR: (confused and starting to feel the delayed horror) and.....?
Cailey: and I'll most likely always have cancer.
STHR: (scared silence...)
Cailey: Let's get you guys another round of shots. The Godfather shot looks pretty good, huh?

I can only come away from this situation knowing that I learned a bit of a lesson, and I can hope that she learned one as well. The lesson I learned was that we don't need to embarrass those foolish enough to pretend they're as tough as people who have been through IT (whatever IT is, because anything that is really difficult could be IT.) If they are actually kind people then they'll find themselves embarrassed all on their own; there isn't a need to force the embarrassment.

She made the mistake of trying to sound smart when she really didn't know what she was talking about. I forgave her because I've made that mistake too and I'm still sheepish about my misunderstanding of the term "mile high club." It's not a very cool club to belong to unless you enjoy venereal growths and cramped spaces.

Love,
Cailey