Is hope more difficult when you "know"?

There are illnesses that pack a wallop of emotion. Usually, this is because they are incurable, they are degenerative and things are still unknown about their cause/treatment.  Two things happened yesterday that caused me to think this over, even though, I've thought about the scariness of cancer before.

My traditional Chinese doctor: Dr Tanya Kelloway (she's a fantastic, hopeful person), told me that in China she had a patient who was told he had cirrhosis of the liver when really he had liver cancer - with a short life prognosis. His family was consulted after his tests and they decided that "knowing" he had cancer would not help him, so they took him in as a cirrhosis patient and he continues his life past his due-date*, oblivious to cancer. In China, the families often decide if the knowing will be helpful or hurtful and they participate in all of the care. This idea is counter-culture for people in the west who want to know, want to cut and want frequent checks for status. Both ways have a place for human beings, I think. I'm, mostly, glad that I know that I have cancer, although, some days you get so frightened like when people give you "death face". This is a look that shows their fear of your eventual demise. I dislike death face and I've realized that only my acquaintances ever display it in their features. My best people, have never shown it to me because they don't blindly think of my death. We all get scared but we know that there is hope; also death face is selfish and my peeps aren't selfish.

My sister Elle and I have another sister (a woman who doesn't share our DNA but shared a lot of our life), told me that her friend and illness mentor committed suicide recently. Not only is this sad and scary for her but it creates a sense of hopelessness. If someone who shares your disease doesn't want to live anymore what does that mean for you? It means, that we all make the best choices that we can and just as we don't all share a talent for photography or live in the same type of house, our circumstances can lead us to different paths. Sometimes, you lose your spirit but I think that you can get it back, even if you can't always see it. I'm so sorry that her friend lost hope and I believe in my other sister to be healthy and strong for many years. She is exceptional.

I think, that the actions of the people around you are enough to buoy you toward hope and yet if negative, they can also to drag you down nearer to hopelessness. I've seen it happen and know that it's true. Tell someone out there today that they'll be okay because you can help it become true.

So tell me, would you rather know or not know about something awful?

Elle does things that other people would think were hard :)

*Due dates bother me for illness, if someone wants a personal expiry date it's because they are getting death messages all around them. What if they were told that with positive life change they could be exceptional? Would they be exceptional? My mum once told me that I was really good at writing nice things in cards, I really wasn't, but after that I tried so hard and now I think that I am good at it. Trivial example but sometimes people rise to the praise they receive.... I do this all of the time with Kill but shhh...don't tell him.