One of the reasons I struggle with boundaries is that I weigh the discomfort of the current situation against the unpleasantness of being yelled/ignored/guilted after I assert myself. I don't know where I learned this weird fear, but I often think that the person might lash out. Now that I know how a loving person will act (me), I know what the outcome should be after I stop a conversation in mid-point when it's unpleasant.
Whew, I need a break because I don't have a psych degree and that was heavy! Let's take a sidebar, shall we?
I'm drinking the best drink with my breakfast miso soup... hot water and lavender leaves! It's delicious, and all I did was throw 2 fresh lavender leaves into a hot cup of water. So simple and so lovely, it reminds me of Grandma Lavender. Have a splendid day!
3 comments:
OK! I stole this (about setting boundaries) from Oprah but it's a life lesson and sometimes someone else just says it better.
If someone upsets you ask yourself:
How much of this is true about me?
How much of this is about the other person?
What do I need to do (if anything) to regain my personal power or stand up for myself?
Teachers are in the public eye and there are always critics but it's important to learn and grow so I think I need to stay open to comments and still maintain my boundaries. I'm working on it.
Love the idea of hot water and lavender!
Love UK
Bordeaux
I love Oprah's advice. Her, and Martha Beck just say the least complicated, cleverest things.
Often, when I'm annoyed at someone it is really about me. Excellent reiteration UK.
That's a rare trait in a person to be able to identify when an issue is troubling them and then have the courage to comment on it.
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